January 2010
If I die tomorrow..
It’s a sad thought. But let’s reflect. It would be a sad story, or so I think. I’m only a freshman in high school. So my life is basically, just beginning. Also, I’m a so called ‘football star’ I don’t see it, but I’ve been told that I have D1 college football potential. -shrug. Also, I’m just a very intresting person. I’m think of the...
My pen cries the soliloquy my mind is to shelled...
This stress packs a burden that’s to much to bear.
If you understood love, you wouldn't find the...
I'm trying to be a man, without losing the boy in...
As I grow each day, I begin to leave my foolish...
simplydop3:
The feeling is quite liberating
When I get bored, I think of terrible things.
I think about my death. Alot. I wonder who will miss me. And I know people would have secrets, I would love to hear them. And I want to have my first true love to tell me before I die. And tell everyone what i REALLY feel about them. idk, just something I tend to do. Because the pain of death brings out the best in people, they always say something nice, when you’re not around to hear it.
...
A few people complain my posts are too long.
But they’re very insightful, and deep post. I pour out my soul. So you won’t regret taking the time to read ‘em. That is all =P
-Nation of One.
It takes more than a pen & pad to connect 2.
Takes some long hard searching deep inside you.
What's happening?
Why can we no longer talk for hours, about nothing? Why can’t we joke around, and have fun? i feel like you’re slipping, Beatriz. That’s the last thing I want. I love you, my best friend, remember? But what? Why do I feel so distant now? Like, I’m not the one you can talk to anymore? Like you just rather not talk to me some days? All I want is happiness for you. I’ve...
I am no longer a big fan of my father.
You’re too irrational. All you know how do is scream. & you never listen to my points, I guess because you can’t stand to be wrong. Don’t get mad at me for want to shower after weight lifting, you were home ALL DAY, you could’ve walked the dog. And all you ever do is say ‘Cody does this, Cody does that’ Am I Cody? No. In no way. & I love him to death,...
Stay in my life, or leave. This flip flop game...
||||||||.
Number 7.
SO!
I always talk about my 6 best friends. But now, 7! It didn’t take long, this friendship, but I’m glad. Welcome to the bunch, Bridget =].
I'm not afraid to give people up.
I feel it takes alot of courage to state this. But let’s say my best friend wanted to leave. In all honesty, I could give her up. Because my whole purpose is to make her happy. That’s why I talk to here, and do what I do. Because I want her happy. She deserves it. She’s a wonderful person, and she deserves to be happy as can be. And although I’d be hurtful, if it made her...
My Second Blog.
Click Here.
I'm such a huge fan of holding hands.
Most of us spend our lives trying to replace...
The truth hurts sometimes, but lies never fail.
Noone gets tired of love, just the pain that comes...
“What you feel ain’t easy to deal with.”
– Wiz Khalifa.
I Sit Back and Realize Our Generation is Cursed.
& we can’t do much alone. The love is gone, hatred has taken over. Not much we can do ourselves. Money overpowers all. Not much we can do without help. The drugs, the crime, the revenge, all of it is killing us, & we can’t do a thing to change it. Alone, that is. I always felt that I could find enough people, that would help revive love, chivalry, peace, happiness, forgiveness....
“We live for love, because we love to live. But intimate love isn’t needed...”
– Some of the best advice I ever game.
“If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if...”
– Anonymous.
Looks grab our eyes, personality grabs our...
>:D
Me: -Friendship over. =P. Bye foreverrrrr.
Beatriz: =O.
Me: Smh, relaxxx. You don't know how many times I've thought about it.
Beatriz: =(.
Me: I don't only think about stop being friends with you, but with everyone. Because i hate being close. So I consider leaving everyone, everyday.
Beatriz: This is a sad Monday.
Me: Not really. It helps me realize who I truely love, because they're people I can't see life without. You have nothing to worry about.
Beatriz: Okay..Well if you don't want to be my friend, you don't have to =|.
Me: You're missing the point, love. The more I question things, the more I care. To be honest, I don't wanna be your friend sometimes because I care too much, & I feel like me being your friend is pointless for you. & I don't do enough for you, & I hurt you more than anything. & I just want you to be happy. So I think I should leave at times. But than I realize that I'm sorry if I hurt you. But life without you is too much for me to bear. & I couldn't do it. & it seems selfish, but I'm sorry.
Beatriz: You missed the point of why I'm your friend than. I talk to you on a daily basis. & I expect to talk to Erik Adam Santiago everyday with no change. & I get him, most of the times anyways. And he makes me happier. 'Cause you're my best friend. The next great thing next to Michelle. I could laugh literally out loud when I'm with you, & when I text you. You've made me happier. That's why you're a big deal to me. I asked you to never leave me because I know the moment you leave, a part of me will leave too. & I won't as childish as I am now. I like being a kid, & you make it easier for me =|.
Me: I might just cry. This is all I've ever wanted. I'm glad to know I play a big part in your life, because you mean more than anybody to me, really. I will never think about leaving again. I love you, Beatriz. I don't care how may times I say it. With your name at the end, it will never lose meaning. Thank you for teaching me what true friendship really is.
Beatriz: I know I don't say it much but I do love you, it's just something I don't like saying 'cause I think it would eventually lose its meaning, & it won't sound so wonderful anymore. I like making things feel special. & you're a special person to me. =]
Me: =]. You're the only person that gets me to cry these days -.- & I understand. Now let's hope you remember this =P. Because I love these moments.
Beatriz: I made you cry?! & I won't forget.
Me: Yes -___-. I haven't been touched so deeply in a while. I've been loved. But this is the first time the person I love most of all told me in depth. & I'm touched. Really.
Beatriz: I feel super special. Though, I don't see how that could of touched you so deeply.
Me: Because. I always felt like I loved you way more than you loved me. But now I understand =]. & I feel wonderful.
Beatriz. Good. [=. Very very good.
Erik's not cool.
He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t have sex. Fuck you all, forreal. I’ve never cursed in my blog. But fuck you all that say ignorant shit like this. It really gets to me. You don’t know my history. You don’t know how alcoholics have ruined my life. You don’t know about my junkie uncles. I could smash, but I’m not trying to. Call me gay...
Follow Your Dreams, Kid.
So. There’s this girl name Tiny. I love her, but that’s not the point. I feel asleep on her last night, & I texted her this morning. She finally responded, & I asked her as I ask anyone. ‘What cha dream about?’ She told me she hadn’t dreamed, & I hadn’t either. But she seemed to be happy about that, while I love to dream. She told me ‘My mom...
I'm currently ignoring all forms of communication...
I’m a sucker for love. All I want is her to say, ‘Erik, I miss you, where have you been? =/’ Than we’ll go back to non-stop texting, ooVoo, facebook & such.
i promise once i get you i will never let go
xlovexlostx:
jessicaish:
(via inrobitrust)
I find my best friend as the most beautiful girl I...
No, not the one I like, the other one, Beatriz. Idk. She’s goregous, but not only to my eyes. There’s just something I just love about her. But I hate her too -.- She’s so boy crazy, it kills me. I hate girls exactly like, but I love her to death. I can’t explain. We have nothing in common, either. But she mean everything to me. I don’t get it. I love her more than...
Can you guys recommend some good blogs to follow.
I’m barely following anybody, & tumblr’s getting booooorrringgg.
I’ve been obsessed with this song as of...
Okay, I'm free.
It’s only been a few hours. But I think I got the hang out this whole thing. I never intended on falling in love with my best friend. & I’m trying my hardest to stumble out. So I’m things won’t be the same between us. & it’s sad to say. But things need to change. I don’t want to like you, but things just happened. & you don’t like me, even...
Ask.
& Let me know you’re alive.
I needa relaxxx.
I’ve been overanalyzing and stressing over things that don’t need the attention.
Free your mind.
Ask.
I don’t mind personal questions and such. Just keep it interesting.
Let me just continue of that last 'chat' post.
I’ll just list a few of the things I’ve said to her, that she doesn’t remember ever happening.
On why I haven’t had a girlfriend in a few months-
As long as I have you, Prissy, & Alicia, I have all the love I really need. No girlfriend I’ve ever had has loved me as much as you guys, & I’ve never loved a girl as much as I’ve loved you guys. So...
She doesn't remember any conversations like this.
Beatriz- So Erik, How's life, man?
Me- I'm tired of ittt, & yourself?
Beatriz- It's being stupid.
Me- I understand =\. I'm tired of the things I do that are out of my control.
Beatriz- I don't like like the fact that everything & everyone's changing =|. I feel like I'm gonna lose everyone, So it makes me think about leaving.
Me- Smh, well, I'm not gonna change. I'm happy with who I am. But I understand. I'm losing my best friend, & I die alittle everytime I see her name.
Beatriz- =|.
Me- Yeah, but you know. This is the stage in life when people change. Some come, some go. But know the people like me, & Prissy, & Michelle will always be here and you might lose a best friend or two, it's okay. It'll hurt, but it's all for the better. You gotta hurt to appreciate bliss. So just be patient, love. For us all.
Beatriz- Your not gonna leave me, right Jellybean?
Me- Never ever, I don't know if you know, but you really mean the world to me. You really do, You're the only person I actually fell comfortable telling my secrets. Never
Beatriz- ='] Okay, I'm crying alittle. Happy tears.
That's my best friend. & she can't remember these conversations, she has terrible memory. I wish she did, we'd be even closer. But it's okay. I'm gonna be nice to her, regardless of what come from it or not.
“Making you happy makes me happy.”
– Nation of One.
I don't mean to be cliche.
But you really make me smile when I’m mad at the whole world.
It really can't work.
But noone believes me when I say it.& I wish I didn’t believe me. Because I’m suppose to be doing Geometry, but instead I jot this in my notebook to remind me you never leave my mind.Buttt, nah. I couldn’t even ask. Things would be awkward after the possible rejection. Any other girls, sure, I have the confidence to ask. But the rejection would destroy this friendship that we...
& the blog is clean.
I removed all the meaningless posts, and now I’m proud of my blog again. & i suddenly realized I have school tomorrow. Good Nightttt.
Cleaning out my blog.
Only leaving the post that actually mean things to me. This will keep me up lateeee.
I have no idea who I am anymore, really.
I’ve been confused. I’ve been called so many thing recently. I know that I change alot, I adjust according to certian people. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Be you, Erik. That’s all you needa do.’ But I change, because I’m glad to be different. I act totally different around my best friend than I do around my teammates. But yeah. I’ve been told I am...
Sometimes we all just need to sit back and look at...
Throughout life, not everything sticks with you. Sometimes, your glad to leave it behind. Maybe a bad habit, or just one of those silly things you hate about yourself. But more often than not, we realize our regret. Yes, that sticks out most. Because sometimes you wish you could go back in time, and start things from the very beginning. I wish I could let people know some things. I hide alot of...
FormSpring.
http://www.formspring.me/HHST
http://www.formspring.me/HHST
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http://www.formspring.me/HHST